Phone anxiety: say the call out loud first

If you hate calling doctors, offices, customer service, landlords or recruiters, start with one call where nothing is at stake.

Download murmur on the App Store
  • AppleApp of the Day
  • App StoreBest New Apps

One call a day here.
As many as you like in the app.

murmur

hey.wanna rehearse a phone call?
you call · the olive tree

book a table

book a table for two on friday.

easyup to 3:00

Download murmur on the App Store
  • AppleApp of the Day
  • App StoreBest New Apps
or try another call

A real call, up to 3:00. Uses your microphone. Your voice is streamed live and never recorded.

Why calls feel harder than texts

A lot of us grew up texting everything. So when it's time to make a call, the brain goes blank. You can't edit a call, you can't see the other person, and you don't know what they'll say next.

That last part does most of the damage. Most phone anxiety comes from not knowing what the other person will say.

The first-draft problem

Difficult calls go badly because the real call is your first draft. You say the worst version of it, because you have never said it out loud before. Rehearsing makes the real call the second or tenth draft.

Start small

Pick a call with one clear goal and a friendly person on the other end. These are marked easy in murmur:

Pressing play counts

The first call is the hard one. murmur treats starting it as a win, and the feedback says what went well before it says what to change.

Feedback after a first call: 'even just pressing play is a courageous first step', with an award for pressing play

Breathe, then call

The home screen has a breathing exercise for the minute before a real call. Tomorrow's Call lets you commit to one call, warm up for it, and say afterwards whether you made it.

murmur's home screen asking 'wanna rehearse a phone call?' with a suggested call and quick picks: book a table, order food, talk to your doctor

Know your first line

The first sentence is the hardest to get out. Write it down, then practice saying it. Every scenario shows what you'll practice before the call begins.

Build a call script

The scenario 'refill a prescription', marked easy, with four things you will practice

murmur is practice, not treatment. If anxiety is getting in the way of daily life, talk to a doctor or a therapist.

Questions

Why do phone calls make me anxious when texting doesn't?

A text can be edited before you send it. A call happens live, with no face to read and no way to know what the other person will say next. Most of the fear sits in that unknown.

Does practicing phone calls help?

It removes the unknown. Once you have heard a version of what the other person says and answered it out loud, the real call is a repeat rather than a first attempt.

Which call should I practice first?

An easy one with a clear goal, such as booking a table or a haircut. murmur marks its gentlest scenarios as easy.

Rehearse the call before you dial

murmur is on the App Store, for iPhone.

Download murmur on the App Store
  • AppleApp of the Day
  • App StoreBest New Apps